As we were preparing to write an April Fools Day blog, an urgent message, aka “barkisis”, came in from AMS Executive Olivia. Olivia is very well-known in the AMS warehouse as a relatively nosey, opinionated, regal “good looker”. She is an executive, after all, so we’re accustomed to paying attention to her and doing as she says… “Yes ma’am,” and things like that. “We’ll get to it right away ma’am.”
Olivia, speaking through a human barklish translator named Marco, expressed her concerns about herself and her family members being harmed by April Fools jokes. “Last year someone dropped milk duds outside the bathroom door on the floor as some kind of April Fools joke and thank heaven I have a good nose. I know enough to avoid chocolate! Who did that??? That was NOT funny!”
We apologized to Olivia and promised her the floor. No more milk duds or any other item that might be dangerous to her or her kin. “We’re sorry… we will keep you in mind when we’re doing April Fools jokes… promise.” Olivia turned tail and walked away followed by Marco. She actually turned for a moment and did a symbolic leg lift, which we understand to be akin to the human middle finger.
Then she began again… barklish started pouring out. “Why don’t you people do blogs about Prevention of Cruelty to Animals Month or National Pet First Aid Awareness Month? What about National Heartworm Awareness Month or Prevent Lyme Disease in Dogs Month? You don’t even celebrate Active Dog Month!! I’m beginning to think you people are lame!” Olivia really chewed us out.
She then walked toward the back of the warehouse to commiserate some more with her pal Marco. Marco is the human who had spotted the milk duds (he mistook them for poop and got really grossed out)! We followed and tried to keep out of the way as she stopped for head scratches and pets from her friends. It became very apparent that Olivia has some power at AMS – she is truly at top dog status among the executives, and we were a little worried. We’d better do a good blog!!
Marco speaks fluent barklish and has a long-term snuggle agreement with Olivia. We waited in the background until Olivia left with the humans she allows to love and care for her. Then we approached to find out what kind of blog Olivia wants us to do for April Fools Day. Marco said, one of her AMS compatriots contacted her via Zoom – it was Chewy. Chewy has allowed AMS’ marketing person named Sarah, in Las Vegas, to adopt him. Chewy is very close with Olivia and he wants us to tell a heartbreaking story with a beautiful ending, which is definitely OK with us!! Good stories are good stories!
Chewy came to Sarah from a place called Vegas Shepherd Rescue. According to Marco, Chewy gave a statement in barklish which has been translated into English. Here’s Chewy’s statement: “It started out ruff for me. As a pup, I was in an abusive home and was always scared. I escaped and was rescued by Vegas Shepherd Rescue. After decompressing, I found my furever home. It wasn’t easy for me – I was so frightened I didn’t even want to go for a car ride! My new family was patient. They even brought in a trainer for themselves! It was fun to watch them learn how to be good dog owners! I never thought life would be so good for me! I still get startled when people scream and loud noises, but I know I won’t be hurt and that I am loved.”
Wow!! That’s definitely a painful story with a beautiful outcome! Perfect for a blog… but what do we do about April Fools? This Chewy story is no joke… it’s serious stuff. Quite a miracle – good things do happen.
So, we do need to write a blog… and besides… we have to do what Olivia said, with her being an executive and all. A boss is a boss is a boss. Well, how about if we just say Happy April Fools Day – don’t do any jokes that might be harmful to pets – have a heart for all animals, see what joy they bring… and have fun!!
Oh yeah… never mention a relationship with cats in front of Olivia – fair warning!! Do not do it!!!