We have a bit of a kerfuffle here at AMS Valencia. Our CDO, Stella, has threatened to engage in ‘barking’ if we don’t straighten up and show her some respect. Stella never engages in ‘barking’ – she considers it undignified, so this is serious.
First of all, Stella is not at all in love with her position as Chief Distraction Officer. She was heard stating… “I am a whole lot more than a distraction!! I am the one who keeps this place fit for humans!” We humbly asked Stella for recommendations, and she simply suggested, “Get a doggie dictionary – I can’t believe you don’t have one!”
We apologized and went to Google to find a doggy dictionary… and found it a bit of a challenge. Okay… here are the parameters: The CEO is the one who assigned her as CDO so maybe we could find an alternate word starting with the letter ‘D’.
How about Dawdle, or Debacle, Divergent, Dapper, Dashing, Devoted, Divine, Dutiful, Delightful, Deserving, Distinguished, Decent or Diplomatic… what about Chief Diplomatic Officer! We went to Stella with the Diplomatic option, and she just replied… “I have nothing to ‘bark’ on that subject – just take me outside for a walk.”
OK – does that mean she accepts the option? In any situation where diplomacy is required, we go to Stella for a smile and a wag? It sounds like it. She actually might be really effective in that position! We’ll check with the CEO.
Stella’s April Fools Request
Since today is April Fools Day, Stella brought up an issue that she has dealt with in the past. Sometimes people will put fake spiders and buggy things around as an April Fools joke, and this really is offensive to Stella. She is a ‘no bugs allowed’ pooch – even fake ones – and nothing irritates her more than going to check the building out and finding someone thinks bugs are funny. Stella said that if she finds any, she will go talk to the CEO.
We urge you to show all due respect to Stella today on April Fools Day. No fake spiders or bugs, especially no chocolate ones. In fact, please make sure there is nothing that she could accidentally harm herself with. Stella likes to snoop around – it’s part of her role as the Chief Distraction Officer (or maybe Chief Diplomatic Officer), finding anything that could offend human beings. She’s very good at caring for humans and giving them reason to smile and feel good, so let’s show her all due respect.
** **
Happy April Fools Day AMS – have some fun! And seriously… keep pets in mind on this day – making sure there are no ‘harmful to pets’ jokes within reach of a CDO like Stella.